how is it that life keeps giving me lemons
i have made way too much lemonade
i want a cake and a cherry on top
one that'll help fend away the unforgiving lemons
go away, lemons
a person can only make so much lemonade before going insane
go away, lemons
note: lemons are just one letter away from demons...
不知道為什麼
這個空間 有一種令人懷念的 舊舊的味道
曾經來訪的人 不知道有多少個 還仍然在使用 或至少來參觀
距上一次自己來這兒的時間 也半年了 剛好半年
It's interesting. Interesting how time works things.
回去看了幾篇自己的po文 覺得沒有一篇虛po 每一篇都蘊含著當時候當下的深思熟慮 無聲地對世界訴說
半年了 今天又有一種urge 想要po點什麼
現在這個時刻 有些害怕
害怕 因為知道 what 自己 is capable of
曾經的經驗 告訴我 我有時候會有的 忽然的果決
那種果決 是令人可畏的 連自己 也不例外 也會怕自己的 忽然
人生 是一場很有趣的 balancing act
不單單只是自己站正就好了
外在還有其他forces在試著要將你拉下去
人生 是一場 既是與周邊的力量拔河 也是與自己拔河的 特殊考驗
今天的這個時刻 我在平衡桿上 搖晃了
心 差點掉了下去
但還好
在最後時刻
險些失去的時候
抓住了
心
的
一
角
捧在手裡的心 暖暖的
微微地 跳動
還是好的
瞬間的蒼白
又有了一絲血色
平衡桿 還是那樣地不動聲色
上面的人
慢慢地
挺直腰桿
微晃地
將心放回心室
口中喃喃地說
愛 哎 愛 還好 還在
x x x
喜歡 下面這首歌的 POWER
雖然不推薦每一句歌詞
但喜歡 最後的幾句: "愛就對了 愛了就值得 愛這門功課 艱深但快樂 愛就對了 愛來了別錯過"
尤其是 最後一句: "愛來了別錯過"
愛來了 別錯過 去愛吧 人們 愛 身邊的人 記得愛 愛 愛你的人
推薦
What should one do when life gives a push?
How can you not stumble and fall?
How can you pull yourself together if you do fall?
There are so much things to learn in life.
There are so many challenges to overcome in life.
I do pray that I am learning.
I do pray that I am both mentally and physically strong.
I do pray that I will learn to use the gravity of the push as a pull and get back on track soon.
May these prayers be heard and responded.
Softly, I continue to pray.
sometimes
some times pass by so slowly
that all sounds are amplified
to an extent that
you feel yourself d i s a p p e a r i n g midst the sounds . . .
最近一直有人問我 婚禮忙嗎? 籌辦婚禮忙嗎? 新娘子, 很累齁?
其實 因為有雙方家長和 siblings 的幫忙, 我們幾乎沒有在為了婚禮忙碌, 但卻因為週邊學校課業教學等雜事在忙..
自從要請婚假, 必須自己找代課老師以來 (是啊, 自己來因為別麻煩人聽起來很正常.... but GOD, 我可有每週 22小時 的課程耶...), 我不小心遺失了 "放鬆" ... 取而代之的是讓人有點喘不過氣的 "壓力"..
"壓死駱駝的一根稻草", 越是身處在現在的這種情況下越是覺得一點也不誇張.. 積少成多啊! 畢竟認真分析起來的話, 這團 "壓力" 也只不過是一些小不隆咚的小事情的累積: 為每天正常上課作事前備課 + 選擇未來博士班要住的住所 + 選擇博士班第一學期的課程.... 喔對了, 一直忘了還有製作 婚禮影片 這件事.... 還有其他有的沒的...
加了加, 小事堆砌成了大事..
我掉了 "放鬆"，要去哪裡找呢?
有些道學資深的人或許會說，往自己內心找，只有自己能幫助自己..
但 其實很多時候的我們一般凡人, 其實是很需要外在援助, 只是不知該向誰說, 該如何啟齒..
畢竟, 我們的世界裡, 所謂的 Lost and Found 中心, 通常沒有像是以下這部 MV 裡面的服務...
多想讓你保護 能流淚一場
讓我放下武裝 像個孩子一樣
Recently, a friend has been "calling" (instead of "seeing", coz they are in two different countries) a guy whom she has met and spent time with for only a few days. When asked of how they became so close in such a short period of time, she would always cite what that guy said:
" He said, 'Your heart, my heart, zoom.' " - accompanied by the motions of hands: using the index fingers and the thumbs, she made two half-shape hearts as she said "your heart" and "my heart," and then, by moving these two half hearts together to the center, she made one full heart as she said "zoooom."
She explained that this is what people call "love at first sight."
I guess, that means the two hearts touched.
By the end of the day, it's the heart that counts. Appearances may have started it all, but it's the heart that counts.
* * *
It's a wonder how hearts connect. Not necessary romantically. I refer to any situation that requires the use of heart, including friendships and mentor-ships as well.
With some people, you are just baffled by how quickly and easily you two click. No explanations necessarily.
Take my experience with my Master's Program practicum supervisor for instance.
By coincidence, I was the one who was assigned to show him around when he was just first visiting the campus and I turned out to be the first practicum student he supervised at this campus.
We don't like talk too much about stuff outside of academics, but somehow there's a sense of harmony between us. Yes, now I think more about it, harmony is just the word to use to describe these situations.
Even after my graduation, he's continued to be very supportive. The words he uses in his e-mail and the way he says things let off an aroma that says "I believe in you."
It touches my heart and ripples of thankfulness ring out in multitude.
* * *
By the end of the day, it's the heart that counts. Frown in your heart and no one will want to be near you. Smile in your heart and your words and actions will be sincere and welcomed by many.
沒想到，我還是會緊張的。
即將跨越，這個在生命中極為重要的一個里程碑。
早嗎? 也不早了，前面已有人準備要帶領小生命到世界上了。
晚嗎? 也不為晚，只是時候到了。
感情的世界，其實最了解的還是身在其中的兩人，經歷過的一切酸甜苦辣，是他人不易詮釋的。
即將跨過這個里程碑，象徵兩人向世界宣示，愛。
那天在辦公室宣佈了大消息之後，同事跑來聊婚姻是什麼。
其中一個說婚姻是DVD，結了婚就像是把DVD買了下來，不再租別的。
但，後來，回來聽我轉述後，我的另一半就提醒說，DVD買回來通常是只是放著，就不再看了喔。
他提出了一個更好的譬喻，婚姻，比較像是買了房子，不再用租的了，而是擁有一個屬於自己的地方。
結婚，讓，心，有了一個不再是跟世界租用的歸屬。
I love. I live. I love.
According to Princeton's Wordnet, "trauma" means "an emotional wound or shock often having long-lasting effects."
Long-lasting.
That's why I can't really tell whether what I have now is a trauma or not. Time has not past by too much yet for me to identify it. Well, can you really identify it if you are really having a trauma? Can people self-discover the trauma that's haunting them?
If what I have now is a trauma, then I think I'm doing surprisingly well in terms of recovery. What a miracle.
No, I mean it, seriously. That last sentence above was not meant to be a joke.
One trick I found for recovering from a trauma is to look on the bright side of things. It does sound so simple, doesn't it? Yet you'd be surprised how many people keep digging into the endless pit of despair, hoping to hit "hope," which is something that can only be found outside that pit.
Basically, I noticed how I'm doing just that (digging into that pit of despair) and I stopped myself.
To tell the truth, I don't really know whether that's truly what it takes to recover from a trauma, but at least I'm trying what I can and what I know how.
And miracles do happen. Like what I've heard or read (can't remember which) from somewhere, every single moment that you stay breathing, miracles happen by fractions of a second. Every time you walk out and don't get hit by something out of the blue, it's a miracle at work.
Okay, enough about myself and my thoughts. I think I've recovered. Either way, please pray for me. (Thanks!)
So, on a lighter note, here's an animated movie clip showing how a person's life changed after he got hit by some sort of weird meteorite (okay, so this is probably not exactly a "lighter" note, but oh well). Pray and say thanks each day for not having to go through what this guy has gone through: [ http://vimeo.com/6913172 ].
[ NOTE written much later on Nov. 20, 2014 - Too bad the link for the video on vimeo went bad... can't find the video now. ]
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