September 15, 2012

  • where i am, where i hope to be

    seeing all the nice photos people post of themselves with their hubby and kids...

    i realized...

    what i am hoping for is really just this piece of small happiness that somehow i can't yet reach...

    a sense of stability of being able to just live at the same place on earth with my hubby and baby....

    why is it so hard...

    why is it that some people get to have that piece of small happiness without having to try much...

    why...

    don't tell me oh u can get it "later"...

    i hate the word "later"...

    what "later"...

    "later" is not something that comes with guarantees...

    why not "now"...

    why not at least "soon"...

     

    i am extremely sad because of this continual delay...

     

    this is getting too hard to cope...

    i think i'm going to have a nervous breakdown soon...

    so much for "later"..... only the Big Guy up there knows whether there'll be a "later"......

     

    stop using it as if u know the next chapter in life.

    *exhale*